The Zoka Movement
It is unclear when the Zoka movement began but it is said to have been around 2003. It is widely believed that it was discovered by Thomas. It was then later re-discovered and popularized by J.P.
It began at Zoka in Greenlake. Over the years it has become know as Original Zoka or OZ for short.
There are only two recorded changes within the movement; the addition of University Zoka in 2005 and the later expansion of UZ. Zoka Movement followers now had two options for fulfilling their Zoka experience. UZ brought in more of the young college crowed while OZ kept the more quiet all ages atmosphere. This is what allowed members to move between multiple coffee shops while staying true to the movement.
The Zoka Movement was founded on the idea of being able to get together for good coffee in real cups, wireless internet, and food. All while staying out until midnight.
The Movement has survived by older members inviting new people to Zoka and claiming it to be a superior experience. Some of these new members have cried foul and are attempting to prevent more people from being lead into the trap.
Pre-Post-Zoka Movement
Some people consider present day coffee consumption to be in the Pre-Post-Zoka Movement. This consists of members of the Zoka Movement attempting to duplicate the original Zoka experience at other coffee shops. The Pre-Post-Zoka Movement is slowly taking shape as members of the Zoka Movement begin the journey forward toward coffee house utopia. They have met with little success but are hopeful that this will lead to the glorious and as of yet unseen Post-Zoka Movement.
Many members have become disenchanted with the Zoka Movement do to a decline in cups and saucers, good internet, and the addition of substandard espresso.
Some have given up on the Zoka Movement entirely stating that it is in fact dead and has been since late 2005.
Finally there are people who do not believe in the existence of such a movement. They often claim that the followers have had one too many Zoka bars and will in fact wake up suddenly, broke and highly caffeinated, wondering where all their time and money went over the past few years.
Members of the Zoka Movement say these people have simply eaten the salad in a plastic container available with their pannini and will come around once they have identified what the salad was.
Some members of the Zoka Movement have threatened to ex-communicate members looking for other coffee houses. They claim that leaving the Zoka Movement is in fact against the Zoka Movement and is therefore stupid. They also state that changes within the Movement are inevitable and claim they will wash their own cups and saucers if need be.
Some people are looking for alternatives. They have begun brewing their own coffee at home and others may begin roasting their own coffee beans but it is unclear wither this will be as addictive. These people are for the Post-Zoka Movement but see the failed attempts of others possibly leading to an apocalypse.
There is also a division within the Pre-Post-Zoka Movement. Some members have considered changing the focus of the new movement from coffee to baked goods and other pastries. The problem with this of course being a lack of such shops and differing opinions on who makes a better cupcake. Additionally, these shops are not open as late as required.
It must be noted that Top Pot Doughnuts is generally accepted as the best doughnut and coffee combination. It is also beats the competition by having internet.
While spending long periods of time away from Zoka members of the Movement have begun to question wither it was wise to begin the Zoka Movement in the first place. Their idea is that they all would be better off never having picked up a Zoka cup. This may have allowed them to become more productive members of society. They however, are eagerly awaiting the move to the Post-Zoka Movement and wasting more time in coffee shops.
The Post-Zoka Movement
Little is know about what the actual Post-Zoka Movement will be like. It is said it will consist of multiple coffee shops open late having real cups, internet, and food. It is also believed that members will be able to switch seamlessly between these coffee shops from night to night. Or perhaps multiple times within one evening.
One Man claims to have experienced the Post-Zoka Movement but was trampled by an angry mob of Starbucks followers before it could be proven. He has also been accused of paying for internet but cannot defend himself on the charge as he has now de-evolved into an ap
March 15, 2007